While studying at Chick-fil-A the other day before work, I came across the following bit of nonsense in my Humanities CLEP exam book:
"how i became charming, likeable and delightful
by tristan tzara
19th december 1920
I sleep very late. I commit suicide at 65%. My life is very cheap, it's only 30% of life for me. My life has 30% of life. It lacks arms, strings and a few buttons. 5% is devoted to a state of semi-lucid stupor accompanied by anaemic crackling. This 5% is called DADA. So life is cheap. Death is a bit more expensive. But life is charming and death is equally charming. "
Crazy, right? I still can't believe that was actually in a textbook! I turns out that it is a result of the "dada" art movement- who knew? I just had to share it with someone, and I knew Rees and Dave- two guys I work with- would appreciate the craziness. After we all read it a few times, we were inspired to write our own nonsensical paragraphs...
Disclaimer: Rees, Dave, and I do not necessarily agree with anything we wrote- the following paragraphs were written merely for laughs- do not attempt to follow any advice that we may or may not have implied we were giving. :)
My version:
A Matter of Opinion
I know 9/10ths earthly. That which is not earthly fails to exist as it ceases to be unknown. No knowledge pertains to what is known, but half of my knowledge is known. Thoughts are attainable and lucid as an ellipse. Thoughtless knowledge is known 11%, but primarily 95% of knowledge is factually abstract. Life is the majority of knowledge, because when knowledge fully repents of earthly properties, to know is to live.
Rees's version:
I Do Not Exist
What is purpose? Does it mean anything at all? Or maybe it is meaning to mean it is meaning itself? Who knows? Who's to know? What's to know? Nobody's to know, or maybe anybody will ever know it at all! Maybe so? Maybe no. Maybe ever. Maybe superficially. But to know is to mean, and to mean is to purpose, and these are the same. Are you following me? Possibly not, so I will continue. To know anything I say is to imply I make any sense, and if I do make sense then I have purpose. But have we decided what purpose is at all? No? Then no it is! And if we have not decided what purpose is then I make no sense, and if I make no sense then how are you to know I even exist, for even if I say I exist but make no sense, who's to know I make no sense? Who's to even care? Nobody I guess. So I've concluded: this is better than coffee.
Dave's version:
Die
If you feel me, then you know me. For feeling is more than a mere sense-based superstition based on the illusions of ever growing wonder. To be sure of nothing is to be sure of what you understand. But don't base understanding upon what you feel. Feeling withers the flower and takes cheap tricks from a deceitful magician. So grow weary only when necessary. Necessity know no feeling. Death is absence of life, but death brings life. So die.
We actually each had a message we were sort of trying to communicate- mine is about how we can really never know how much we know, or if what we think we know is true; Rees's was questioning the meaning of purpose and meaning, and Dave claimed that his is about love. :)
Are you inspired to write your own?
-Kendal
"how i became charming, likeable and delightful
by tristan tzara
19th december 1920
I sleep very late. I commit suicide at 65%. My life is very cheap, it's only 30% of life for me. My life has 30% of life. It lacks arms, strings and a few buttons. 5% is devoted to a state of semi-lucid stupor accompanied by anaemic crackling. This 5% is called DADA. So life is cheap. Death is a bit more expensive. But life is charming and death is equally charming. "
Crazy, right? I still can't believe that was actually in a textbook! I turns out that it is a result of the "dada" art movement- who knew? I just had to share it with someone, and I knew Rees and Dave- two guys I work with- would appreciate the craziness. After we all read it a few times, we were inspired to write our own nonsensical paragraphs...
Disclaimer: Rees, Dave, and I do not necessarily agree with anything we wrote- the following paragraphs were written merely for laughs- do not attempt to follow any advice that we may or may not have implied we were giving. :)
My version:
A Matter of Opinion
I know 9/10ths earthly. That which is not earthly fails to exist as it ceases to be unknown. No knowledge pertains to what is known, but half of my knowledge is known. Thoughts are attainable and lucid as an ellipse. Thoughtless knowledge is known 11%, but primarily 95% of knowledge is factually abstract. Life is the majority of knowledge, because when knowledge fully repents of earthly properties, to know is to live.
Rees's version:
I Do Not Exist
What is purpose? Does it mean anything at all? Or maybe it is meaning to mean it is meaning itself? Who knows? Who's to know? What's to know? Nobody's to know, or maybe anybody will ever know it at all! Maybe so? Maybe no. Maybe ever. Maybe superficially. But to know is to mean, and to mean is to purpose, and these are the same. Are you following me? Possibly not, so I will continue. To know anything I say is to imply I make any sense, and if I do make sense then I have purpose. But have we decided what purpose is at all? No? Then no it is! And if we have not decided what purpose is then I make no sense, and if I make no sense then how are you to know I even exist, for even if I say I exist but make no sense, who's to know I make no sense? Who's to even care? Nobody I guess. So I've concluded: this is better than coffee.
Dave's version:
Die
If you feel me, then you know me. For feeling is more than a mere sense-based superstition based on the illusions of ever growing wonder. To be sure of nothing is to be sure of what you understand. But don't base understanding upon what you feel. Feeling withers the flower and takes cheap tricks from a deceitful magician. So grow weary only when necessary. Necessity know no feeling. Death is absence of life, but death brings life. So die.
We actually each had a message we were sort of trying to communicate- mine is about how we can really never know how much we know, or if what we think we know is true; Rees's was questioning the meaning of purpose and meaning, and Dave claimed that his is about love. :)
Are you inspired to write your own?
-Kendal
1 comment:
Wow. :)
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